Intense Child Custody Disputes are Rarely About the Best Interests of the Child

October 4 , 2014

Source: socialworkhelper 

Child custody disputes are rarely about the best interest of the child, and the stories are all too common. A parent is reported to have abducted their child as part of a long-standing custody and access dispute. Indeed, a quick Google search reveals almost 500,000 hits for the term parental abduction.The term parent alienation yielded over 1 million hits.

For the children, these battles between parents can be scary, particularly when they involve some form of abduction. They are being taken away from a parent who loves them by a parent who also professes the same thing. How can this be? But the abduction is rarely a unique event in the lives of children. They typically have faced years of conflict between parents. The list of what children are exposed too is long:

• Parents yelling at each other;
• Arguments in public at custody exchange places;
• Put downs of the other parent;
• Denial of financial support as a means of getting back at a parent;
• Refusal to allow a child to bring favourite toys or clothes to a visit;
• Efforts to get the child to take sides.

It doesn’t take much imagination to come up with a variety of other ways that parents seek to get back at each other. Too often, courts become part of the toolbox used by an angry parent. Anyone who has worked in this area can tell stories of a parent (too often representing themselves in court) filing petition after petition against the other parent. There are also the tragic cases where a parent kills the child. Here in Alberta, we recently saw the death of 9-year-old Amber Lucius. It is believed that her mother killed her. The media reports a six-year custody battle.

Courts are typically more focused on parents who can manage to get along or at least will honour the orders of the courts. They are not as effective with cases where the parent simply ignores the court orders. While this will vary from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, there is no doubt that the defiant parent will have created much havoc before the court holds that parent to task. Many will never get held accountable as the other parent just gives up – they can’t manage the battle any longer or they are out of money to defend themselves in court.

Child protection systems are often reluctant to get involved. They feels that a competent justice system is in place through family and divorce courts. Yet, these more extreme cases carry on creating damage to the child. A study just published in the journal Development and Psychopathology researchers Raver, Blair and Garrett-Peters showed that children who are exposed to verbal and physical aggression between parents have long term negative effects which include the ability to identify and regulate emotions. In other words, they suffer from a form of emotional abuse. Conflict between parents warring over custody and access can fit this description.

Child protection should get involved in these cases. They can bring another force of control against the non-compliant parent. In more extreme cases that might lead to more intrusive arrangements by child protection where a child is removed to kinship or foster care. These child custody disputes, while under the guise of the best interests of the child, are far from it. Society needs to be willing to protect the child and child protection may need to be one way to do that when other court based interventions fail.

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FAMILY ABDUCTION IS NOT OK!

November 21, 2012

Source: hvinsider.com

Having done legal work for the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children for decades, the most important thing to know is that, not only is family abduction a crime, it is considered a form of child abuse.

According to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children: “family abduction has been characterized as a form of child abuse because of the harmful effects it has on children. Abducted children may be forced to lead a fugitive life under assumed names, sometimes with altered appearances, and kept out of school to avoid detection. The abductor may tell them the left-behind parent abandoned them, does not love them, or is dead. They may be neglected by their abductors and indoctrinated to fear law-enforcement officers and other adults who might help them.

In addition to possible long-term psychological harm, abducted children may be physically harmed at the time of the abduction as well as during the period of concealment. Parents most likely to harm their children are those who have serious mental and personality disorders, a history of violence or abuse, or little or no prior relationship with their child.

If you have ever seen the heartache of a parent who doesn’t know if their child(ren) is alive or dead, you will take this seriously. The last time I was involved in a Family Abduction, the abductor was found living on the West Coast, in a campgroup, with the children, by alert citizens who had seen the children on a milk carton.

For more information about the impact of abduction on victim children contact Take Root, an organization of adult members who were victims of parental abduction as children. Visitwww.takeroot.org or call toll-free at 1-800-ROOT-ORG (1-800-766-8674).”

For even a more in-depth look at Family Abduction please see the link below.

http://www.missingkids.com/en_US/publications/NC75.pdf

 

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Parental Alienation Disorder: A Quick Overview

July 14, 2012

Source: parentalalienationsupport.com

Parental alienation is when a child allies himself or herself strongly with one parent (the preferred or favored parent) and rejects a relationship with the other parent (the alienated or rejected parent). 

The rejection does not have legitimate justification.  In other words, if a child rejects a parent because the parent has physically abused the child, this is not parental alienation.  Usually parental alienation occurs when parents are engaged in a high-conflict divorce.  However, “high-conflict” does not always indicate that both parents equally contribute.  Dr. Gardner (2002) noted that target parents are innocent victims.  This does not mean that they do not contribute in some manner, but it suggests that the contribution is unequal.  He pointed out that while rejected parents may have certain qualities that irritated, or temporarily alienated the child, the parent does not deserve the ongoing scorn, rejection, and in some cases to never see the parent again.  The animosity goes far above and beyond what might be expected from minor parental weakness.

Definitions

Estrange implies the development of indiference or hostility with consequent separation or divorcement.

Alienate may or may not suggest separation, but always implies loss of affection or interest.

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International Parental Child Abduction – Canada Fighting to Get Kidnapped Kids Back from Poland

Source: Youtube

CHARLES ADLER (Sun News Media) Interview with Stephen Watkins – International Parental Child Abduction – The non-custodial mother of Stephen Watkins’ children kidnapped the two boys from Canada and fled to Poland without custody. He’s now fighting to get them back from Poland. The Polish Courts have refused to return the Canadian Children back to Canada using a loop hole of the Hague Convention Treaty.

After being Missing and searching for two and a half years, the two little boys were located in Warsaw, Poland as a result of a Polish School taking the abducting mother, Edyta Ustaszewska (Watkins) to Court to limit her parental rights due to child protection concerns and sending a court summons to the father to appear in Polish court but delayed telling the father by 11-months.

The Polish Court taking this action had NO idea that another Polish Court Ordered Polish Police to search Poland-wide in January 2010 for these Missing / Abducted children known through social media as the “Watkins Missing Children” and that the two boys were already flagged by the Polish Police, the recognized Polish National Missing Children organization “ITAKA”, Europe’s INTERPOL and the Canadian National Police (RCMP) as internationally abducted children.

The RCMP as issued a Canada-wide alert for Edyta Watkins (Ustaszewka) and her profile appears on the RCMP’s Canada’s Most Wanted online. Canada has also issued a world-wide INTERPOL “Red Notice” for her apprehension and “Yellow Notices” for the abducted boys.

In December 2011, the Polish Hague Convention court denied returning the Canadian boys back to Canada. Stephen Watkins appealed this case and on May 29, 2012 another Polish Court dismissed the appeal and denied the return of two Missing / Abducted Canadian children back to Canada from Poland.

Even the Prime Minister of Canada, Stephen Harper and the Prime Minister of Poland, Donald Tusk were asked a questions by the media on this high profile International Child Abduction case while both in Ottawa.
(See the RAW VIDEO of the two Prime Ministers Quotes on the Main YouTube Channel)

The father had already been granted sole custody of Alexander and Christopher Watkins, in January 2009 by the Canadian Courts prior to their kidnapping due to child protection concerns reported by a Canadian School as they realized that Edyta Ustaszewska (Watkins) was physically and mentally abusing the boys while in her care. The boys were apprehended by the Canadian Courts and by the Catholic Children’s Aid Society of Toronto and taken away from the mother and the two boys had already been living with the father since 2007.

The two Canadian boys which were 4 years and 7 years old when abducted from Canada in March 2009 by their non-custodial mother, Edyta Ustaszewska ( Watkins ), using a Canceled Canadian Passport and the children’s Canadian Passports which were repeatedly Ordered by the Ontario Courts to be handed over in what Canada’s National Police ( RCMP ) stated in 2010 as one of Canada’s worst International Child Abduction from Canada.

The father of the abducting mother has been arrested and charged for assisting in the abduction which is still before the criminal courts in Ontario, Canada.

The father plans to appeal this case in the European Union Courts.

FIGHTING TO GET KIDNAPPED KIDS BACK
SUN NEWS NETWORK with CHARLES ADLER: Parental Kidnapping
Reported by CHARLES ADLER on June 4, 2012 21:11
“Watkins Missing Children” – International Child Abduction case

YouTube VIDEO LINK:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ThiO3PVO_fM

ORIGINAL VIDEO LINK:
http://www.sunnewsnetwork.ca/video/search/stephen%20watkins/fighting-to-get-k…

Follow the “Watkins Missing Children” case and more info can be found here:
FACEBOOK: http://www.facebook.com/Watkins.Missing.Children
WEBSITE: http://www.Watkins-Missing-Children.com
TWITTER: https://twitter.com/Child_Abduction

Thank you for SHARING this news interview so more people are aware of the injustice the Polish Courts are continuing to pursue which are breaking not only multiple treaties between Canada and Poland but also infringing on the Human Rights and the Rights of the Child as outlined in the UNITED NATIONS rights of the Child (CRC) which both Canada and Poland are signatories.

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New York Woman Convicted for International Parental Child Abduction

Source: divorcelawyerconnecticut

An upstate New York woman who was convicted of international parental kidnapping of a child was sentenced to 18 months in prison.

The sentence is the result of an investigation conducted by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement’s (ICE) Homeland Security Investigations (HSI).

Tricia Griffith, 37, formerly of Niagara Falls, N.Y., admitted taking her child from a residence in Niagara Falls to Jamaica in June 2010. The defendant left the area without the knowledge of the child’s father and in violation of a court order of custody issued previously by a Niagara County Supreme Court judge. Griffith was arrested several months later at New York’s JFK International Airport by HSI special agents when she returned to the United States without the child. The child remains outside of the United States at this time.

“Because the issues surrounding the unauthorized removal of a child by one parent to a destination abroad can be so complex and daunting, the United States Congress, the Hague Convention and numerous states have all passed legislation forbidding this conduct,” said U.S. Attorney William J. Hochul Jr., Western District of New York. “These crimes involve unspeakable suffering and loss – not the least of which is the cruelty and damage inflicted upon the child. This office stands fully committed to prosecuting the perpetrators of this crime wherever they may be found.”

Assistance is available to parents of internationally abducted children through the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children and the U.S. Department of State Office of Children’s Issues.

This case was prosecuted by Assistant U.S. Attorneys Fauzia K. Mattingly and Trini E. Ross.

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Parental Alienation Syndrome

Source: Earthlink.net

Prolog

Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS) is a collection of behaviors where one parent turns a child against the other parent. So when one parent deprives their  child of a healthy relationship with the other parent, the child may experience chronic psychological distress leading to the deterioration of the parental relationship. Since distress can affect physical health, health care professionals must not overlook the possibility that the child has been subjected to abuse by the custodial parent.

The Details

Blocking or inhibiting contact with the children – The custodial parent blocks or discourages contact between children and the other parent. The most heinous word in family law is ‘visitation’. With this word, the non custodial parent and his (or her) children become mutual guests under the oversight of the custodial parent and the courts.

Only a father can imbue certain intangible qualities to his children that a mother cannot. The corollary that a mother can imbue intangible qualities is also true. Children benefit most when their parents work and act together for their children, rather than two biological parents in conflict acting separately. This is the well-known phenomenon of synergism where the sum of the efforts of persons working together is greater than the sum of each person working alone. This is also called teamwork.

Berating the other parent in the presence of children – Comments such as ‘your mother is no-good’ or ‘your father has abandoned us’ are degrading to the child who respect the parent. What the controlling parent is saying to the child is that their feelings toward the other parent are wrong. The controlling parent’s intent is to berate and change the child’s view of the other parent. This conflict between the controlling parent’s demands and what the child knows and believes can lead to later conflicts in the child’s life.

Threatening children with withdrawal of home, love, and support – J. Michael Bone and Michael R. Walsh came up with a simple statement. “My way or the highway.” That says it all. What the controlling parent is saying is that the child must think the way I do, believe as I do, and feel as I do or else! The ‘else’ word is a threat.

Teaching or forcing the child to fear or reject the other parent – The most prevalent tactic is coercion. Through repetition, the controlling parent relates false accounts of abuse by the other parent. When repeated, this deception can become accepted fact that replaces the child’s own true experiences – my way or no way. This tactic is not acceptable.  A similar tactic is that the instigator tells a child that they cannot have contact with the innocent parent unless the child admits that he or she abused them. This is a guaranteed losing strategy for the child and the innocent parents. When the child is forced to admit that abuse occurred then the child cannot have further contact. This is called Catch-22, or my way or no way.

False Allegations of Abuse

The problem is that many courts ignore false allegations against fathers and men. False allegations of domestic violence and child abuse are common in family law proceedings and the person making the allegation (predominately female) far too often succeeds. This is a low risk tactic because the courts rarely hold false accusers accountable for their conduct.

I have found that mediators, social workers, police and probation officers extensively quote the accuser and ignore the facts given by the falsely accused person. Worse, they deliberately fabricate statements and then attribute these fabricated statements to the falsely accused party. I have seen sixty-three (63) separate occurrences where such persons used the same text and just filled in the blanks, changing only the name. Many judges fail to act in good faith and sometimes courts alter signed documents and testimony given under an oath of truthfulness.

The core of this issue is that one spouse wants to control the other through child custody and the money and the property they gain to receive. A key factor in false allegations of spousal abuse and in Parental Alienation Syndrome is that the controlling party is incapable of civility and truthfulness about their partner. These abusers are selfish and do not care what their spouse or children feel.

A false accusation can give an abusive woman exclusive control of the children and the property.  This gives them a nearly insurmountable advantage in the legal system. Our misandrious courts often treat innocent males as the guilty party and do not require proof that an accusation is true.  The problem is that false allegations of abuse, even when recanted or proven false, can devastatingly affect the victim and their children.  This can bring about permanent physical, emotional, and economic effects.  The problem is that those who lie or abet such conduct are rarely punished.

So with a stroke of a pen, a female can get her spouse out of her life and assure herself of control of the children. That power extends to her control of her husband, his earnings, and his property. Our support laws are structured to account for household income rather than the ex-husband’s income alone. Child support is taxable to the payer and not the recipient. With those so easily made signatures. The ex-wife can increase her tax-free income from combined incomes of her former husband and his current spouse or a live-in partner.

The problem is exacerbated in states having high child support guidelines, high wages, and high cost of living. Higher wages bring higher tax rates yet most payers of child support cannot claim children as dependents. Moving to other states that have a lower cost of living is not an option for non custodial parents because court ordered child support payments remain unchanged. Worse, moving to another region with a lower cost of living may trigger a court review that increases child support payments.

Custodial parents can often improve their living standard by moving to states or regions that have a lower cost of living and still collect the same court ordered tax-free child support payments. Child support payments are often based on the extent of contact that the non custodial parent has with their child (or children). Moving away and false accusations are tactics that have exacted larger child support payments.

Read more about PAS here: Link

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Mexico / U.S – Cross-Border Child Custody, a Legal Tangle

Source: IPS News

MEXICO CITY, Jan 14, 2012 (IPS) – Mexican or foreign-born children being held by one of their parents in this or another country are caught up in a legal tangle marred by red tape and the arbitrary powers of judges, according to experts.

The claim for restitution of an under-age child taken to another country, or to Mexico, is based on the Inter-American Convention on International Restitution of Minors (IACIRM), ratified by Mexico in 1994, and the Hague Convention on Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, which came into force in 1983.

“Lawmakers are not necessarily familiar with the provisions of the conventions. Most judges do not use them as references in their decisions. And the red tape, when a child is abducted from or brought to Mexico, is a real ordeal for the families,” Martín Pérez, head of the Network for Children’s Rights in Mexico (REDIM), told IPS.

Moreover, the families “have to undertake the search for their children using their own resources,” added Pérez, the executive director of REDIM, a coalition of 63 NGOs that carries out programmes for vulnerable children and adolescents.

In 2008, there were 272 petitions for the return of children to custody, compared to 123 in 2003, according to the Permanent Bureau of the Hague Conference on Private International Law. These figures do not include petitions brought under the IACIRM.

And there were 168 demands for restitution under the IACIRM in 2008, an increase of 522 percent compared with 2003.

Fifteen Latin American and Caribbean nations reported 315 petitions for the return of minors in 2008, equivalent to 16 percent of the world total. In 61 of these cases, both countries involved were within the region.

In 2010, there were 221 such cases in Mexico; 101 of them involved the abduction from this country to others of 141 children or adolescents; and the remaining 120 cases involved 169 irregular transfers of minors from other countries to Mexico, according to the foreign ministry, which is the designated central authority in Mexico tasked with fulfilling the provisions of the Hague Abduction Convention.

Mexico’s free trade treaties, like the 1994 North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) with Canada and the United States and the 2000 Global Agreement with the European Union, brought transnational companies flocking to Mexico, creating opportunities for marriage between Mexican citizens and foreigners as well as increasing the presence of couples from other countries.

“We don’t have national legislation for detecting, warning and following up on these kinds of cases. There is no comprehensive system for the protection of children, paying paramount attention to the best interests of the child, nor of measures to benefit mothers and children,” Nashieli Ramírez, general coordinator of Ririki Intervención Social, an NGO active on behalf of the rights of children, told IPS.

The aim of the Inter-American and the Hague conventions is for minors to be returned to their country of origin when they have been illegally taken away or kept in another, and for a parent’s custody rights, granted by any state, to be respected and monitored.

In 2008 there were 36 cases in Mexico in which children were voluntarily returned, nine of which involved a court decision based on an agreement between the parents and 22 on decisions without an agreement, while in another 34 cases restitution was legally denied because the child did not reside in the petitioning country, or the petitioner did not have custody rights.

Forty-nine percent of the persons who brought the legal complaints were fathers, and 47 percent mothers. In 2008, 270 children were involved in the lawsuits, 51 percent of whom were girls and 49 percent boys. This contrasted with 2003, when the gender balance was markedly skewed, with 64 percent of the children being girls.

Final decisions on the proceedings can take months, comparable to the global average. Voluntary repatriations took an average of 232 days, compared to the world average of 121 days, while restitution by court order took 206 days, and judicial denials 290 days, on average.

Time is regarded as a key factor by the experts, especially in cases where the mother has been a victim of domestic violence and the child is at risk.

In its 2011 response to the questionnaire on fulfilment of the Hague Abduction Convention, Mexico’s foreign ministry acknowledged that while some judges were experts on international abduction of minors, the majority were experts in family law.

It also indicated that legal advice was provided at the start of proceedings, but the parties involved had to find their own legal representation, at their own cost.

“The children’s views are not consistently taken into account, and the legal rights of the plaintiff are not safeguarded. Therefore, legislative harmonisation, training of judges and lawmakers and clear procedures are required,” REDIM’s Pérez recommended. A new feature observed by experts is “parental alienation”, involving brainwashing of the abducted minor by the abducting parent against the other, which inflicts emotional damage on the child.

The foreign ministry also admitted that it does not use the Hague Convention’s iChild system.

iChild is an electronic case management tool that is used to identify, save and share information and monitor cases of child abduction.

“What predominates in Mexico is a view of children as part of the private domain, and not the public domain. So the issue needs to be on the public agenda and in the state budget,” said Ramírez, of Ririki Intervención Social.

In October 2011, a constitutional reform established that the best interest of the child was to be the guiding principle in all the decisions and actions of the state.

But the problem of parental abductions of minors does not appear in campaigns on behalf of children organised by NGOs, nor is it mentioned among the recommendations made to the Mexican state by the internationally elected Geneva-based Committee on the Rights of the Child, as part of its task of monitoring implementation of the 1990 Convention on the Rights of the Child.

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Raising Awareness of Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting

Source: Parental alienation Awareness Organization (PAAO)

This is Parental Alienation ( PAS)

Did You Know That…
Parental Alienation is a form of Child Abuse? 

Parental alienation (or Hostile Aggressive Parenting) is a group of behaviors that are damaging to children’s mental and emotional well-being, and can interfere with a relationship of a child and either parent. These behaviors most often accompany high conflict marriages, separation or divorce.

These behaviors whether verbal or non-verbal, cause a child to be mentally manipulated or bullied into believing a loving parent is the cause of all their problems, and/or the enemy, to be feared, hated, disrespected and/or avoided.

Parental alienation and hostile aggressive parenting deprive children of their right to be loved by and showing love for both of their parents. The destructive actions by an alienating parent or other third person (like another family member, or even a well meaning mental health care worker) can become abusive to the child – as the alienating behaviors are disturbing, confusing and often frightening, to the child, and can rob the child of their sense of security and safety leading to maladaptive emotional or psychiatric reactions.

Most people do not know about Parental Alienation and Hostile Aggressive Parenting until they experience it. Parental Alienation Awareness is put forth to help raise awareness about the growth in the problem of targeting children and their relationship in healthy and loving parent/child bond.

You can also find more information about parental alienation here: A Family`s Heartbreak

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Irish mother faces International battle

Source: Strabane Chronicle

A STRABANE woman locked in a bitter international custody battle says she fears she may never see her son again.

Tracey McCay’s incredible story came to a head on Christmas Eve when a Belfast Court ordered her to hand her six-year-old son Sean over to her husband.
Husband David has since returned to their adopted home of Singapore with Sean, leaving Tracey practically penniless and homeless.
The 37-year-old told the Strabane Chronicle this week that she now fears she may never see her son again.
Tracey says her nightmare began ten weeks ago while she and her accountant husband David were holidaying in Indonesia.
Following a bust-up on the island of Batam, Tracey claims she awoke to find her husband had fled with her son, taking with him her passport and travel documents.

After contacting the immigration authorities, Tracey eventually managed to get back to Singapore where she contacted her solicitor.
Because she has only lived in Asia since May and her Visa rights depend heavily on her husband’s job, she was advised to return to Northern Ireland and fight for custody here.
On December 22 the estranged couple came face to face for a custody hearing in Belfast.
Tracey won her battle only to have it over-turned on appeal two days later.
On Christmas Eve she broke down in tears in court as Sean was taken from her and handed over to her husband. The father and son have since returned to Singapore.
Speaking from a women’s refuge in Belfast, Tracey appealed for help from anyone with knowledge of international law.

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Fatherless Homes Now Proven Beyond Doubt Harmful To Children

Source: Fathersunite.org

Most statistics from a 1999 report of the Department of Health and Human Services.

Children from fatherless homes are:

• 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders • 4.6 times more likely to commit suicide • 6.6 times more likely to become teenaged mothers • 24.3 times more likely to run away • 15.3 times more likely to have behavioral disorders • 6.3 times more likely to be in a state-operated institutions • 10.8 times more likely to commit rape • 6.6 times more likely to drop out of school • 15.3 times more likely to end up in prison while a teenage • 73% of adolescent murderers come from mother only homes •  6.3 times more likely to be in state operated institutions

CHILDREN NEED BOTH PARENTS

It’s a Fact Here’s why: · 63% of youth suicides are from fatherless homes. (Source: U.S. D.H.H.S., Bureau of the Census). · 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes. · 85% of all children that exhibit behavioral disorders come from fatherless homes. (Source: Center for Disease Control). · 80% of rapist motivated by displaced anger come from fatherless homes. (Source: Criminal Justice and Behavior, Vol. 14, pp. 403-26). · 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes. (Source: National Principals Assoc. Report on the State of High Schools). · 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in a fatherless home. (Source: Fulton County Georgia jail populations, Texas Dept. Of Corrections, 1992). These statistics translate to mean that children from fatherless homes are: · 5 times more likely to commit suicide · 32 times more likely to run away · 20 times more likely to have behavioral disorders · 14 times more likely to commit rape · 9 times more likely to drop out of high school · 20 times more likely to end up in prison

“There is a fundamental liberty right guaranteed to both parents by the 14th Amendment. This is the right to the care, custody, and nurture of their children. According to the Supreme Court of the United States: “Absent a Compelling State Interest of harm or potential harm to the child, the State may not intervene in the privacy of family life.””Overall, research studies show that children of joint custodians are better adjusted than children of sole custodians on each of the following measures: general adjustment; family relations; self-esteem; emotional adjustment; behavioral adjustment; and divorce-specific adjustment. Another benefit of Joint Physical Custody is that it improves child support compliance. Researchers have found a positive correlation between the frequency of a parent’s contact with a child and the payment of child support. That is to say, the more frequent, regular and flexible the time a parent is permitted to spend with his child, the more likely he is to meet his child support obligation in full and on time. In terms of voluntary compliance, fathers who have little or no contact with their children after a divorce pay only about 34% of their child support, while fathers with regular contact pay 85% or more of theirs.

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